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[Video] Freedom from the Opinion of Other People
What’s stopping you from really going big in your life?
Do you sometimes stop yourself from doing things because of what other people might say or think?
Recently a private client was at our place in Texas working on her business. Her content is incredible and she’d make a great TED speaker.
Even though speaking on a TedX stage is this is one of her dreams, she’s been dragged her feet.
She knows it would get her more visibility and credibility yet she’s stopped herself many times from taking action.
I asked her:
What do you think is stopping you from this?
Her answer was unexpected:
I need to lose 50 pounds first.
Her answer was actually a surprise to her!
It made me realize that it doesn’t matter how much of an expert you are, it doesn’t matter how prepared you are… we humans allow ourselves to be stopped from going after our BIG dreams because we’re scared of what people will say about us.
What will they say?
One of the big things to become free of is FREEDOM from the OPINION of other people.
How many times have you stopped yourself because you were worried or afraid of the opinion or judgment of other people?
This can stop you from living out your dreams…
It can still sting
I’m NOT saying that you will become invulnerable to what people say.
What I am saying:
It is too big of a sacrifice to QUIET or LOWER your voice or stay SMALL because what people will say.
Identify your “Envelope People”
In this video I’m sharing an exercise that helps me to have more courage in those moments.
Your “Envelope People” are those who like, accept and love you unconditionally.
Sometimes you might be the only one in the envelope and that’s OK.
You can handle it.
You’re braver and stronger than you sometimes remember.
You can do this as a Heartwork Journaling prompt, it will help you to identify those 1-3 people whose opinion really DOES matter.
Mostly this will help you remember to NOT be dependent on the opinion of others.
It will help you use your voice, have your back and be yourself.
No matter what.
I hope it helps you do more things out of your comfort zone so you create the life you want.
For you entrepreneurs, use it to get your story, your message, your business out there in a bigger way!
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Maritza
Great message and one I think many of relate to. Loved the ritual you made out of it. Makes it so much more special than just thinking it or writing the names down.
Mary, this is SUCH a great thing to do, especially as you get more visible online which I know you are doing!
Maritza, this is a beautiful concept. Care and let into our soul only the opinion of the people we respect, are important in our lives and really know us. Thank you.
Thanks Rita, I had to do this because for a time, I did allow the opinion of other people – whether good or bad – to affect me and guide my path. Now, I think about my “envelope people” and remember to stay true to myself. <3
Maritza, I love this post and it is quite timely. Today, someone that I really care about posted this on FB. I did respond to her in my own words. And, now after having seen this post and watching your video, I know it is meant for her to see so I will be forwarding it to her. I am not going to share her name and anyway, this could have been written by many others who have had shitty people in their life. Here is her post:
I’ve had a trying weekend. It has left me in a bad mood and I probably should have never left the house today.
In that respect what happened next could have happened on another day, when I had some tolerance for people telling me about how terrible teaching politics is.
I went to BLANK PERSONS house & explained that I was having a rough day and the following conversations ensued in all of 10 minutes. How much planning could you do everything is scripted, Teachers unions are the root of evil, what do you think of this no homework for all talk, all children are cookie cutters and should be expected to do the same things, teachers will do anything to avoid work next thing you know they will just say kids don’t have to do anything, Ben Carson’s mother couldn’t read and he became a doctor so there should be no excuses.
My opinion is no match for theirs- they talk louder, so I left.
I’d love to here some of your thoughts.
Lori, yikes! It sounds like your friend is in what I call a “negative spiral” where yucky things and conversations are happening all around and it feels so incredibly personal. It’s difficult to not be reactive when I’m angry or in pain and I think humans are like that, we will feel anger, pain, negative emotion and it squirts out in our interactions with others. Something that had ALWAYS helped me is to imagine that what’s happening in the other person’s life must be painful and that’s why they’re squirting out painful stuff in my direction. It helps me to not “personalize” things, something I’ve worked on for a long time! Another thing that has been helpful to me is a trick I learned from me mom. She says we all have an “On /Off” switch right above our right ear…. when someone is squirting out negativity in your direction, just calmly reach up and turn it to the “Off” position. Without saying what you’re doing. It works incredibly well to become more of an “observer” and usually helps me to not engage and see how truly unimportant what’s happing is in the big scheme of life.
Dynamite words of wisdom which I will definitely pass on to my friend.
You are quickly becoming one of my favorite people. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us!
Great post Maritza! It reminds me of the Pleasure / Pain Principle Tony Robbins talks about. Until the pleasure of making a positive change is greater than the pain of remaining in the status quo, then change is unlikely. The goal is to find ways to shift the levels of pleasure and pain.
Love this Brad – Tony is one of my first inspirations to make changes in my life! I’m working on using the Hero’s Journey as a personal development tool and what you’re describing is EXACTLY what happens when a hero finally decides he or she MUST make a change in their status quo. Awesome!
Maritza – love this simple and special way of protecting what is important in your life by identifying who matters.
Jenny
Thank you Jenny! It’s been super powerful for me as a reminder!