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Five Ways to Keep Going When You’re Tired of Hearing “No”


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I received this great question from a subscriber recently.

“Maritza, I’ve been following you for a while. You openly talk about the failures of the past. I’m a health coach who helps identify the best kind of eating plan that will be sustainable and realistic for people, while getting them great results. I’ve failed at a couple of things lately. I’m getting weary of hearing the “no’s”.  What can I do to keep going?”~ Gina A. 

Gina, first I’m proud of you for even putting yourself out there to get no’s in your business. There are so many people in the world who would love to start their own businesses, who have passions and interests they could build communities around, yet they don’t. Most of the time, it’s the fear of no’s that keeps them from trying.

In business and in life, it feels like you hear “no” a lot more than you hear “yes”. You hear the word “no” a lot. It can make you feel like a failure, right? It can bring sadness, defeat and self-doubt. We can start getting really scared of hearing that little word. Fear of getting no’s can keep you from building your list, getting new customers and clients, nabbing that big contract, speaking onstage or doing your webinar, getting that speaking gig and much more. If you’re not careful, letting yourself be affected by the No’s, can prevent you from ever getting to the “yeses”.

Here are 5 ways to keep going when you’re weary of hearing “no”:

  1. How Many No’s Are You Away From What You Really Want? If I could give you a specific answer… for example “8 no’s will get you to a yes”, wouldn’t you try to get through those 8 “no’s” as quickly as possible to get to #9 – the yes? You’d make more sales calls, you’d write more offer emails, you’d submit more speaking proposals, you’d do a lot more to get each “no”, knowing it was bringing you closer to your “yes”! Look at each “no” as a stepping stone in the path you are traveling to land on your next “yes”. The “nos” are leading you to where you want to be.
  1. Don’t take it personally. Ok, so this one might not be the easiest one but it’s really important. Taking the “no’s” personally ensures you will begin to avoid putting yourself in situations where a “no” is possible. You play it safe, you won’t ask for the sale, as a result you won’t hear anymore “no’s”. And you darn sure won’t hear any yeses either!
  1. Have fun with it. For a recent promotion we just did, we had a lot of fun with the goal-setting. We ended up actually looking forward to the “no’s”.

We drew a huge thermometer on the wall and put our sales conversion goal there. The overall goal was to fill my coaching course. Because I know what my conversion rate is for sales conversations, I set a specific goal to speak with a certain number of subscribers. I wrote the total number of conversations I needed to have in order to get the total number of yeses I needed to fill the course and put that put at the top of the thermometer. Each degree on the thermometer, whether it was a yes or a no, brought me closer to my goal. And the really cool thing about the thermometer on the wall was it gave me a visual representation of my progress I could see and feel good about each day, because each “degree” of progress brought me closer to a full class.

  1. Listen to positive, uplifting messages that give you courage. There are many places online and offline you can hear negativity, complaints, laments, and receive discouragement.  There are all kinds of shows and entertainment that highlights the basest of human emotions. Negativity, violence, disaster and discouragement.  Steer clear of these.

All this negativity does is drain you of your enthusiasm and positive energy. Look for forms of “entertainment” that uplift you, gives positive advice and strategies, and gives you the courage to keep striving towards your “yeses”. Subscribe to video or audio podcasts that give you ideas and encouragement like this one.

  1. Surround yourself and listen to people who encourage your dreams. Be careful who you share your dreams with, especially friends and family. Be careful sharing your experiences and recent stories about getting a “no” with them. Unfortunately, most of the time, they know all of our human weaknesses.

Family and friends often try to keep us from hearing the “no’s” for the same reason you try to avoid hearing, because they can be painful. They love you and want to help you avoid the pain of hearing “no”. But, that can keep you firmly rooted in exactly where you are, instead of finding the golden “yeses”. Find a community who believes in you and is striving for the same kinds of dreams as you. Give and receive encouragement to your community.

Remember that on the way to hearing a yes, you most definitely will hear “no’s”. The more you take consistent action, the more “no’s” you will hear. Don’t let it discourage or stop you from moving forward anyway.

An interesting statistic I heard somewhere recently is that 90% of all first time business owners fail. 90% of all second time business owners succeed. But 80% of business owners never even try a second time. They got so discouraged from getting the “no’s” to even try again.

Don’t let the “no’s” put out your fire. Tweet this.

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. – Winston Churchill

To recap today’s episode, what to do to keep going when you’re weary of hearing “no”:

  1. Let go of having a guarantee.
  2. Don’t take it personally
  3. Have fun with it
  4. Listen to positive, uplifting messages that give you courage.
  5. Surround yourself and listen to people who encourage your dreams.

12 Comments

  1. Dean Patino on April 27, 2015 at 8:33 am

    Thank you to Gina for sharing her concern and Maritza for sharing your response and outstanding, inspiring guidance! Some of my favorites to listen to whenever I could use an uplifting boost are Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, and my all-time favorite Zig Ziglar! There are endless hours to hear them on podcasts and YouTube. Thank you again to both of you for sharing!

    • Maritza Parra on March 31, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      Oh yes… keeping the positive stuff going in is one of the most important differentiators to success!

  2. Nerdy Creator on April 27, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Hi Maritza, it’s very true what you say. You really don’t know how many “no”s you need to get for a “yes” to appear. The next one might just be a “yes” so we shouldn’t give up easily and stop trying. And you are right that we shouldn’t take “no” personally. I’m learning to say more “no” in my life and it’s not about the other person. It’s more about myself. I need more focus. So “no” is essential! 🙂

    • Maritza Parra on March 31, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      Exactly… No is ESSENTIAL to get to YEs!

  3. Lori J. Isenstadt on April 27, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    I think we do hear no a lot! I also think that the frequent “no’s” come from within that tape that play in an endless loop in our head. Changing the way we think is a huge step in the right direction. Adding the tips that you shared help us to continue to make those changes. Thanks for helping us to keep moving through the “no’s” so that we can get to the Yes’s!

    • Maritza Parra on March 31, 2016 at 4:38 pm

      LOL- habit creation to turn that “endless loop tape” into one that is more positive is a must!

  4. Ann on April 27, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    Maritza, great podcast. Five ways to follow to the letter to keep us going and don’t allow anyone to rob us of the enthusiasm necessary to get to the yes!!!
    Thank you.

  5. Jodi Flynn on February 22, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    Amen. This is a powerful message for me. I work very hard at being concise in my message to turn people who might say no away. It’s much more freeing to have the conversation and be okay with the no. From experience I know this usually means, “no for now.” Great post, Maritza!

    • Maritza Parra on March 31, 2016 at 4:39 pm

      Great point Jodi! The more targeted your messaging, the less the No’s because you let people know exactly who you are and how you can help in advance!

  6. Kathy Lundborg on February 23, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    Yes!! Oh boy this was me yesterday. Lamenting about the client who cancelled after one session…AND this occurred immediately after receiving a hand-written Thank You letter from a client thanking me for changing her life. Our brains are amazing how they are wired for negativity! Thank you for the reminder!

  7. Lian on February 23, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    Such a good reminder of how we forget to look at the encouraging aspects in our lives and business. We put so much attention on the negative aspects that we lose sights of the good stuff that can encourage us…. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

  8. Sandy on March 31, 2016 at 5:31 pm

    Always wise advise Maritza. These are messages I need to hear over and over again…. it’s like a conversion inside the mind to turn this around. Thank you.

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