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[Positive Focus] How to Ask the Right Questions in Your Inner Conversation

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“What am I doing wrong?”

“Why isn’t this working out as I’d planned?”

“Why isn’t this happening fast enough?”

Ever caught yourself having that negative inner conversation?

As entrepreneurs, it’s so important to be aware of our inner conversation. Negative inner chatter will kill your dreams.

Positive, productive inner chatter will make your dreams reality much faster.

When you ask these types of questions you’re training your brain to find all the reasons why this won’t work!

For today, be aware of your inner conversation. When you find yourself asking negative questions, flip them to more productive, positive focus questions like:

“What am I doing right?”

“What are the things that are working out? How can I build on those?”

“Everything is always working out for me if I’m brave enough to keep looking at what’s happening without judgement and I keep moving, even if it means I have to pivot and adjust.”

As with anything, this takes practice.

Here are 3 tricks I use.

Trick 1 – Create immediate discomfort upon the awareness of your negativity.

Ok, so I do not mean you have to become a “self-flagellating monk” and feel bad or inflict major pain upon yourself.

I do this by having a rubber band around my wrist.

When I do catch myself falling into habitually negative and disempowering thoughts, I snap the rubber band and say out loud “Refocus!”

Trick 2 – Create your positive focus mantra.

You can choose to combine this one with Trick 1 above. For example, your positive focus mantra can be the word “Refocus!”

I prefer something that makes me feel inspired as soon as I see it. It can be a quote or a mantra you create.

One of the quotes I often come back and use for this is from Joseph Campbell:

We must let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us

Another one I often use is from Martin Luther King jr:

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Or create your own mantra:

Things are always working out in my favor.

Here’s another one I use:

Where is my opportunity to grow, serve or create something new from this? There is always an opportunity.

When you find one, put it everywhere as little reminders for you to ask the right questions that will help you create positive focus. Put it on your screen background for your computer, tablet or phone. On post it notes scattered around your home, office and car.

It’s especially great when you’re having a bad moment or day and you find one you’d previously placed. When you find it at that moment, resist the urge to crumple it up and throw it in the trash. Really LOOK at it and SEE it. Allow it to help you improve your inner conversation.

You’ll have to change these out from time to time for the inspiration to stay fresh. Make it a game.

Which brings me to Trick 3…

Trick 3 – Become a Divine Scientist.

This one can be really fun and so eye-opening.

When you do start practicing leaning towards the positive, magic will start to happen. Opportunities come to you. Money flows in with fun and less effort. Great ideas flow to you. The best clients are attracted to you and are ready to invest with you.

When these things start happening, the NUMBER ONE way to reinforce this habit of positive inner conversation is to look for the magic and miracles, celebrate and acknowledge that YOU created that.

The YOU that is your Higher Self, your Inner Being, Source flowing through you, the God in you… the part of you that is always on target, always following the perfect path for you.

Don’t minimize the miracles like most do.

Observe.

Acknowledge.

Celebrate.

Magnify them.

Jump up and down and say “I created that!”

When you find the little signs that your business and life are transforming, celebrate the little and the big evidence of the power of your positive focus!

A few weeks ago, I got a tiny reminder of how positive my focus has been lately. A friend texted me with some new emojis as a joke. One of them could be categorized as a pretty offensive gesture people make, usually seen during road rage incidents.

I’ve been on such a positive, magical trajectory that my phone did NOT translate the emojis to me. This is what I received:

emoji fail I was SO excited when I noticed that my phone would not even translate something somewhat negative, even if it was sent as a joke!

Of course, this is a tiny piece of evidence and it could be explained away I’m sure…

AND I choose to see it as how powerful this positive focus habit has become for me. It all begins with positive focus and asking yourself the right questions about the circumstances and events happening around you.

Can you become annoyingly positive?

Yes. Absolutely.

To most people who are consistently and persistently leaning towards the negative, you can be a frequent reminder of the negative spin they put on their life by asking the wrong questions and having a negative focus of the world.

Sometimes those people will move out of your life. Sometimes you will help them change their life by your positive focus example.

Use the “Divine Scientist” attitude of observation to navigate through this.

Sometimes people get annoyed with too much “positive focus” however, this is exactly what determines your business and your life.

I’m NOT totally positive all the time. In fact, about 15 – 20 years ago, I was a pretty consistently negative complainer. It took some hard knocks from life to get me to become aware and really look at it. I made the decision to change and more consistently and persistently lean to the positive. And it has resulted in a pretty consistently MAGICAL life and profitable businesses I love.

Now, I am more positive than I’ve ever been and my business and life reflect that. And, I still have moments and days where I NEED these tricks to keep me on track.

There are days and moments when they don’t work either. In those moments, it’s all about non-judgement and getting back up in the game as soon as possible.

If you have to punch a few pillows, that’s perfectly fine too! And then get on with creating your positive focus habit.

4 Comments

  1. Lian on March 14, 2016 at 11:15 am

    So so true! Both in business and in our personal lives. It’s how we speak to ourselves that makes all the difference!
    I’ve been practicing changing these voices in my head for quite a few years now, and I can attest that life is so much better this way! Thank you Maritza for reminding us to pay more attention to our inner dialogue… 🙂

    • Maritza Parra on March 17, 2016 at 12:27 pm

      Lian, I’ve noticed you are really good at this! Looking forward to “meeting” you soon! <3

  2. Jodi Flynn on March 16, 2016 at 10:31 am

    This caught me on the right day at the right time. Feeling overwhelmed as I’ve got to many to dos and not enough time. However, having read this I can see how my inner chatter is causing the overwhelm, not the to dos. I’m shutting it down and focusing on what I CAN get done.

    • Maritza Parra on March 17, 2016 at 12:28 pm

      Jodi, I’m so glad it came at the right time! divine timing…

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