[Heartwork Journaling Doodle] Risk Rejection to Follow Your Dreams
Success at anything is proportional to the number of people who hate you and the number of people who love you.
Whenever you create something, you risk rejection.
As I’ve become visible with Heartwork Journaling, as I’ve become braver and braver, I’ve noticed that the amount of people who love you and the amount of people who hate you rises in proportion to your success.
This equation works in different ways:
- As you succeed, the number of people who like you & the number of people who don’t also rises.
- As you grow, the number of people who approve & the number of people who disapprove also rises.
- As you get better at boundaries, the number of people who respect them & the number of people who test them rises.
- As you stop people pleasing, the number of people who cheer for you & the number of people who don’t approve rises.
Personal growth is directly proportional to discomfort.
Look, I SOOOOOOOO wish this was not true.
I argue with myself all the time about this.
I try to find ways to stay safe AND grow at the same time.
When I try to “trick” my brain into thinking this doesn’t have to be true, I’m trying to hide and stay safe.
If you aren’t regularly uncomfortable, you’re hiding from the life you could have.
Here’s a caveat: If you’re happy with your life as it is, you’re satisfied as you are, then please disregard this message. That is AWESOME and a VERY beautiful and valid thing!
This is for people like me who are happy with what is AND ALSO feel the recurrent nudge from your soul to continue to make more of your potential a reality.
This is also for people who may be in pain because it’s eating you up inside that you aren’t actually making your dreams happen.
For those of you in the last 2 groups, please hear me…
Rejection will happen.
It won’t kill you.
Even if your brain and emotions try to convince you it’s the worst thing EVER.
In fact, rejection, disapproval, haters, boundary-pushers is a GREAT sign that you are on the right track.
The ONLY way to prevent these things is by hiding.
That’s exactly what your primitive (“toddler”) brain wants you to do.
In the past, that would mean staying in the cave.
Now, this is hiding under the covers binging on netflix or drinking too much, or “social media-ing” too much or spinning in circles in overwhelm and planning instead of acting.
Self protect at ALL costs.
Don’t rock the boat.
Don’t put yourself out there.
Even at the cost of your dreams, goals and growth.
What’s the worst that could happen?
The worst that can happen if you DO put yourself out there to dream and grow is that people might:
- laugh at you
- disdain you
- mock you
- hate you
- villify you
When you hide, you reject yourself in advance.
The worst that WILL happen if you DON’T put yourself out there to dream and grow is that you will:
- reject yourself
- disappoint yourself
- stay safe
- die with your dreams inside you
Which tombstone do you choose?
I am willing to be exactly who I am in order to shine my light in this lifetime.
I am willing to be rejected, mocked, criticized and any other thing necessary to fulfill more of my potential and growth.
Incredible Unwitting Teachers.
Last month, while speaking, a woman made it VERY CLEAR to everyone that she did not agree with what I was teaching.
She was angry and frustrated.
In the past, that would have sent me reeling into shame and people-pleasing.
Instead, I was able to notice her behavior with curiosity.
When she voiced her opinion, I stayed completely calm and thanked her for her feedback.
I also specifically asked her to fill out a feedback form in order to be able to take it with me, process it fully and come to my conclusions.
She might be right!
There might be something totally valid about her criticism that could help me grow!
I thought about her criticism and it actually gave me an INCREDIBLE insight into why my work is so important.
An insight that will help me better communicate my work.
I don’t agree with her and now I’ll have my well thought out reasons and insights to share when I come across that criticism again as I grow.
What a gift.
A gift I would have missed if I went into defensiveness, shutting down and anger.
A gift I would have missed if I didn’t put myself out there to be rejected.
I believe that most people mean well.
Even when criticizing.
But no one knows what you know about you.
No one knows your dreams and goals like you.
Self-Confidence no one can take away from you.
This is a self-confidence that no one can EVER take away from you.
For those of you who feel like you are hiding from the life you want to create, I invite you to come with me.
Bring it on.
Let’s do this!
I am willing to feel it in order to create the exact life of my wildest dreams.
What would you do if you were not afraid of rejection?
Coach & creator of Heartwork Journaling. The art & science of thinking & feeling on purpose.