Justification = arguing for your limitations
People love to justify.
I used to be the QUEEN of justification
This is what justifying looked like for me:
“Men can’t be trusted.”
This was my reason why I couldn’t trust men (and myself) to create a healthy relationship.
“I’m just not good with numbers.”
This was my reason why I didn’t use real data to drive my business activities.
Instead I jumped from idea to new idea to “this is finally gonna be the one” idea.
Which kept me essentially going back to the starting line and flying blind in my business.
“I’m highly sensitive and empathetic.”
This was my reason why I kept people-pleasing with zero boundaries and overgiving to exhaustion.
“X, Y or Z is the reason she’s more successful than I am.”
This was my reason why I wasn’t as successful as “they” were.
Which kept me jealous, resentful and completely stuck.
Because I didn’t have X, Y or Z so why really dig deep and do the darn thing because I’m already starting way behind and I don’t have their advantages?
“It’s not about the money for me.”
This was my reason why I didn’t make courageous, consistent offers to buy from me.
Which kept me lying to myself and overgiving for free.
Hoping someday people would magically ask me how they could buy because my stuff was “so good” on it’s own.
(Sidenote: I now know it’s about BOTH money and value – They are inextricably connected.)
“I just don’t like managing people.”
This was my reason why I didn’t have to grow up into an adult entrepreneur and build a team.
Which kept me complaining about how “people don’t really want to work” and feeling self-pity, entitled and resentful that “I have to be CEO and chief bottle washer” too.
Wah, wah, waaaah.
Cue the Debbie Downer self-pity tune.
Giving up my title as the queen of justification has created:
the relationship of my dreams with Joe (pinch me now!!!!!)
deeper friendships and connections WITH boundaries and WITHOUT taking over-responsibility for what’s theirs
being a great coach and instructor because I care more about helping my clients than about what they think of me or
all the success I ever wanted (and it’s only the beginning!)
a team of 5 incredible humans supporting my business and freeing my time to create more Heartwork Journaling curriculum and lessons (and it’s only the beginning!)
I love realizing when I’m justifying something.
Because then, I can do something about it!
Let’s make this more general to help you to reveal your justifications to yourself:
- “This [fill-in-the-blanks] is the reason it’s easier for them.”
- “This [fill-in-the-blanks] is the reason it’s harder for me.”
- “If only I had x, y, z, then I would be able to create the results of a, b, c too.”
Yes, some of your justifications may actually be true.
I’ve found that justification stops you from re-empowering yourself and doing the best you can now with what you have.
Justification = arguing for your limitations.
Why would we do that?
Because it’s sooooo much easier to blame someone or something else than it is to become a person who creates your results, regardless of the circumstance.
What if you didn’t allow yourself to justify any longer?
What would be possible for you?